Let's make this birthday one to remember.

45 years old (Born on February 29, 1980)

Happy Birthday, Taylor Twellman! You're the only guy who can score goals faster than we can say "New England Revolution." Your legendary headers and clutch finishes still echo through Gillette Stadium—rumor has it goalkeepers still wake up in cold sweats thinking about your unstoppable strikes.

From MLS MVP to ESPN analyst extraordinaire, you've transitioned from scoring goals on the pitch to dropping wisdom off it. But let's be honest: no matter how sharp your commentary is today, we'll always cherish those epic moments when you made defenders question their career choices.

Here's wishing you another year of laughs and victories!