Let's make this birthday one to remember.

33 years old (Born on November 12, 1991)

Happy birthday to the legendary Cairo Santos—the man whose kicks are so precise, NASA once considered recalibrating their satellites using his field goals! Your 2012 Lou Groza Award and All-American recognition at Tulane remain epic achievements. Seriously though, your accuracy is pretty intimidating—it's rumored you've made goalposts reconsider their career choices.

Cheers to more perfectly placed kicks for years ahead! May this year bring you even greater triumphs on-field—and perhaps a patented "Cairo Curveball Kick" that leaves commentators speechless (because honestly, they're running out of adjectives!). Enjoy your day—you've undoubtedly kicked harder than Chuck Norris ever punched!