Let's make this birthday one to remember.

45 years old (Born on December 23, 1979)

Happy birthday, Carson! Another year wiser, yet still poetically youthful. Your verses continue to charm readers and confuse critics—truly a timeless talent. May your day be filled with as much joy as the time you cleverly rhymed "existential dread" with "freshly baked bread."

Congratulations on another successful year of literary brilliance and witty commentary. Whether penning insightful essays or crafting humorous observations, you've proven that poetry can indeed coexist harmoniously with baseball statistics. Here's hoping this next chapter brings even more memorable moments—and fewer awkward metaphors (though we secretly love those too). Cheers to you, Carson!