Let's make this birthday one to remember.

95 years old (Born on April 03, 1930)

Happy Birthday, Helmut Kohl! You truly proved that walls are meant for climbing over—or better yet—tearing down. Thanks to your steadfast leadership and unwavering determination, Germany became one big happy family again. Who knew reunification could be so stylish?

Your legacy as the Chancellor who brought East and West together will always stand tall (unlike certain concrete structures). Today we celebrate you—not just for making history—but also reminding us all that sometimes diplomacy requires patience, courage, and a good sense of humor.

Here's wishing you another year filled with joy—and perhaps fewer political headaches! Prost!