Let's make this birthday one to remember.

34 years old (Born on January 08, 1991)

Happy Birthday, Jacob Mellis! From your Chelsea debut in 2009 to becoming Barnsley's midfield maestro in 2012, you've certainly had a career filled with more loans than my student debt. But hey—each loan spell was just another chance for fans everywhere to appreciate those silky skills and tireless runs.

Here's hoping this birthday brings you fewer transfers and even more success on the pitch (and maybe some cake off it). May your passes always find their mark as smoothly as candles fit onto cakes—and may defenders continue chasing shadows behind you. Cheers to many goals ahead; enjoy celebrating today!