Let's make this birthday one to remember.

69 years old (Born on March 13, 1956)

Happy Birthday, Jamie Dimon! Another year older and still banking on success—literally. You've navigated JPMorgan Chase through market storms smoother than most of us handle our morning coffee runs. Your leadership during challenging times has been nothing short of legendary; Wall Street might fluctuate, but your reputation remains bullishly strong.

From steering one of America's Big Four banks to record-breaking profits, to confidently testifying before Congress with a poker face that would make Vegas jealous—you've truly mastered the art of finance (and patience). Here's wishing you another prosperous year ahead filled with fewer congressional hearings and more birthday cake!