Let's make this birthday one to remember.

54 years old (Born on September 13, 1970)

Happy Birthday, Jason Scott Sadofsky—aka The Slipped Disk, SketchCow, and the fearless archivist behind textfiles.com! You've spent decades preserving digital relics of Freemasonry secrets, pirate manifestos, anarchic ramblings—and yes—even ASCII art masterpieces. Your tireless dedication ensures future generations will forever ponder life's greatest mysteries: "Who wrote this bizarre manifesto?" and "Why is there a dancing cow made entirely from punctuation?"

From your legendary online personas to your epic crusades for internet preservation—you've truly become the Indiana Jones of forgotten files. May today bring you as much joy as discovering another dusty floppy disk filled with questionable yet priceless treasures!