Let's make this birthday one to remember.

81 years old (Born on June 09, 1943)

Happy Birthday, Joe Haldeman! May your celebrations last forever—though hopefully not as long or complicated as an interstellar war. Your timeless tales have transported us across galaxies and through the complexities of human nature; we’re still trying to figure out how you made Hemingway meet quantum physics without causing a literary black hole.

From "The Forever War" to "Forever Peace," you've shown that even in distant futures filled with conflict, humor remains humanity's greatest weapon (well, besides antimatter bombs). Here's wishing you another year full of creativity—and may any hoaxes involving famous authors remain strictly fictional!

Cheers from Earth—we promise no time dilation at this party!