Let's make this birthday one to remember.

74 years old (Born on April 01, 1951)

Happy Birthday, General Abizaid! You've commanded troops through deserts and diplomacy alike—clearly proving that handling Middle Eastern conflicts is easier than blowing out all those candles in one breath. Your strategic brilliance post-9/11 made history; your calm leadership inspired countless soldiers—and terrified birthday cakes everywhere.

From CENTCOM to diplomatic missions, you've navigated complex terrains with grace and humor. Today we salute not just the medals earned or battles won, but also your timeless ability to age gracefully under pressure (and camouflage). May this year bring fewer briefings and more cake slices—you've certainly earned it! Happy Birthday, sir!