Let's make this birthday one to remember.

58 years old (Born on March 16, 1967)

Happy birthday, John Darnielle! As the pied piper leading legions through indie folk catharsis, you've masterfully turned life's bittersweet absurdities into timeless triumphs. From vividly guiding us through teenage survival anthems like "This Year," to poetic tales in albums like *All Hail West Texas*, your brilliance shines brighter than a stage full of tuning instruments.

May your special day offer fewer existential crises and more cake-based epiphanies. Keep rocking those clever lyrics and beautifully relatable stories that comfort our hearts—because John, it's true: we're still gonna make it through this year (again), largely thanks to you. Happy birthday!