Let's make this birthday one to remember.

34 years old (Born on October 14, 1990)

Happy Birthday, John Simon! Let's take a quick moment to honor one of your greatest rookie season highlights—being the Baltimore Ravens' expert sideline observer. Your unparalleled talent for watching intense football action from prime bench real estate remains legendary.

Sure, some might say you saw limited playing time as a fourth-round pick out of Ohio State back in 2013—but true fans know that cheering enthusiastically and mastering strategic hydration techniques are unsung skills deserving recognition. May your birthday be filled with more excitement than those early career sidelines moments! Cheers to laughter, good health—and unlimited playtime today.