Happy Birthday to Marcus Holgersson!

40 years old (Born on April 16, 1985)

Happy Birthday to Marcus Holgersson, the defender who conquered MLS faster than New Yorkers grab bagels on a Sunday morning! Ever since stepping onto the field for the Red Bulls in 2012, you've been breaking through tight defenses and tough tackles like they were IKEA instructions—effortlessly cool but secretly complicated. Your smooth play at center-back saved more than a few games (and possibly coaches' careers), making us wonder if Swedish defenders come fully assembled.

Marcus, your timing is impeccable both on-and-off pitch; just as Americans thought Sweden's gifts stopped with meatballs and ABBA—you arrived. Here's to another year of slick maneuvering and timeless defending performances!