Let's make this birthday one to remember.

58 years old (Born on December 29, 1966)

Happy birthday, Martin "Chariots" Offiah! You've sprinted through life faster than you dashed down those rugby fields for Great Britain—33 caps between 1988 and 1994 isn't just a record; it's proof you've spent more time running past opponents than candles on your cakes. Rumour has it fullbacks still wake up having nightmares of chasing after you.

Here's wishing your year is packed with as much joy and brilliance as that unforgettable Wembley try in '94—or any number of the countless ones fans fondly replay today. Stay speedy, keep outrunning birthdays like defenders, and remember: legends never slow down—they age gracefully into classics.