Let's make this birthday one to remember.

80 years old (Born on September 25, 1944)

Happy Birthday, Michael Douglas! From mastering the ruthless Gordon Gekko in "Wall Street" to navigating mind-bending twists in "The Game," you've shown us that greed might be good—but your acting is even better. Your iconic roles have taught us valuable lessons: never trust mysterious birthday gifts and always beware of slick-haired financiers.

Here's wishing you another year filled with suspenseful plots, sharp suits, and fewer surprise parties orchestrated by shadowy corporations. May your day be as thrilling as your filmography—and remember, unlike Nicholas Van Orton's experience, this celebration comes without hidden cameras or elaborate conspiracies... we promise!