Let's make this birthday one to remember.

80 years old (Born on March 17, 1945)

Happy Birthday, General Hayden! From mastering the skies with the Air Force to navigating intelligence at both NSA and CIA, you've proven that secrets are safest when guarded by someone who can handle turbulence—both in flight and politics. Your ability to decode complex situations faster than most of us decipher our Wi-Fi passwords is legendary.

Here's wishing you another year filled with fewer classified briefings and more time enjoying life's simpler pleasures—like finally telling stories without redactions. May your birthday be as memorable as your remarkable career achievements; after all, you're one general whose legacy will never remain undercover!