Let's make this birthday one to remember.

83 years old (Born on February 20, 1942)

Happy Birthday, Senator Mitch McConnell! You've navigated the Senate floor with the precision of a Kentucky Derby jockey—steady, strategic, and always ready for the next turn. From Majority Whip to Minority Leader, your political maneuvers have become legendary enough to rival Kentucky bourbon in smoothness and longevity.

Whether orchestrating legislative victories or skillfully managing debates, you've shown resilience that even Churchill Downs would envy. Here's hoping your birthday is filled with bipartisan cake-cutting agreements and unanimous consent on extra frosting. May your day be as memorable as your tenure—and may you continue steering through politics with humor intact!