Let's make this birthday one to remember.

36 years old (Born on January 18, 1989)

Happy Birthday, Rich Balchan! From your fearless debut with Columbus Crew in 2011 to holding down the fort at Real Salt Lake since 2013, you've defended goals better than most defend their Netflix passwords. Your moves on the field are smoother than birthday cake frosting and more memorable than a last-minute winning header.

Here's hoping this year brings you as much joy as that epic first MLS goal or those countless tackles saving games just when fans thought all was lost. Keep kicking life's challenges away like they're rival forwards—just don't pull any muscles blowing out candles today!