Let's make this birthday one to remember.

33 years old (Born on December 29, 1991)

Happy Birthday, Steven Caulker! From your early days at Tottenham Hotspur in 2009 to stepping onto the international stage for England in 2012, you’ve always stood tall—quite literally—as a commanding center back. Your defensive exploits were so reliable that we never needed VAR to confirm your brilliance!

Whether winning aerial duels or calmly playing out from defense, you've consistently made strikers' birthdays far less enjoyable than yours must be right now. Today we're all happy you're still marking opponents tight instead of candles on cakes.

Enjoy another stellar year ahead; may success follow you (but not as closely as opposition forwards)!