Let's make this birthday one to remember.

69 years old (Born on December 06, 1955)

Happy Birthday, Steven Wright! May your day be as delightfully surreal and hilariously deadpan as the time you reminded us that "everywhere is walking distance if you have the time." From unforgettable stand-up specials to being everyone's favorite couch philosopher in 'Half Baked,' you've mastered comedy by making confusion oddly comforting.

Here's hoping this birthday brings fewer existential questions than usual—though knowing you, that's unlikely. Keep inspiring laughter with your brilliantly absurd observations; after all, you're proof that monotone can speak volumes. Cheers to another year of pondering life's mysteries...like why we park on driveways but drive on parkways!